By Sal Citarella
I’m certainly not the first runner who has been faced with his own mortality. It’s just that this is the first time it has happened to me. I don’t like it. From age 16 through the big Eight-0, I ran all the time and raced every chance I got. Sure, there were downtimes; knee cartilage wear, even a severed patella tendon that resulted in a dramatic trail rescue and months in a splint. But those were badges of honor, proof that I was a serious runner.
I ran my last race (OK, ran, shuffled, walked) over a year ago, dramatically winning my age group. The fact that there were no other 80-year-old kids in the field was not my fault. With that burden off my back, I enjoyed just moving over the trails, being outdoors and in motion.
Just recently, I tore a tendon in my foot while running, resulting in surgery and months in a boot. Now I’m over that but it did my training very little good. While I was cranking an indoor bike, the trails mysteriously got steeper and steeper so that now that I’m back out there, I’m really struggling.
It raises the existential question, is it time to quit faking it? I’d always been amused by (and a little scornful of) the chubby, awkward “joggers” we all see in our neighborhoods. I’m embarrassed to be seen like that and stay on trails where only nature’s critters can watch. Is pride depriving me of legitimate exercise? Should I care what others think? I know what I’ve done. George Sheehan’s refrain, “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly” resonates in my mind, but I can’t bring myself to do it poorly in public.
All of my running buddies have succumbed before me. I don’t see them anymore; we have nothing in common and it would be awkward. And they’ve probably all put on weight. Heck, I’m up 3 pounds, myself!
I gave up my treadmill; too confining and performance too measurable. I have my indoor bike; I do my stretchy-bendies, but I want to run free! Maybe I should just grow up, and grow old. Maybe I should quit reading Runner’s Gazette as it only rubs salt in my wounds. Maybe I should get up in the morning and just nap. Maybe I should listen to the advice of that old philosopher Jack Daniels and just chill.
And don’t make me feel any worse by reminding me that there are 80 and 90-year-olds out there still competing. Often, they started running later in life.
How does Frank Shorter or Bill Rodgers, guys who’ve been to the top of the mountain, cope?
Frank, we ran together on the way back from Peachtree; Bill, we would meet on the roads of Sherborn, MA. If either of you guys are reading this, please give me some advice.
Masters Running Legend Roger Robinson, who is still running well in his 80’s. (Photo courtesy of Roger Robinson)
Categories: Features
Runner's Gazette 
Forget pride, Sal. It doesn’t matter how you look. You’re doing it. If others see something inappropriate in that, it’s their problem, and it’s an outmoded ageist prejudice. Forget “faking.” You’re doing it, not faking. We all reach the point when we can’t run with any lift, or can’t run for any length. So mix running/jogging/shuffling with walking, no shame in that, and you’re dong the miles. And races? See my article on Outside Online about “Why I keep racing track in my 80s.” Being lapped and re-lapped by the entire field might seem a nightmare, but in reality it is a huge privilege at our age to be a participant in an inclusive, welcoming, supportive community. “Go, Rog,” the young runners say as they rush past to lap me. Sometimes I feel like the old dog who gets a pat because he still tries to chase his ball. But that’s OK, too, and the dog stays healthier for it. Don’t retreat to the couch. It’s better for you to keep going, and better for other people to see an old person who keeps going.
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Roger,
You’ve challenged me, but I can’t find the article on the mag website. For the sake of us older kids everywhere, can you give us a direct link?
Sal
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Sal. Really enjoyed your article. Can’t believe you covered exactly how I’m feeling these days. Yes, I too look for the really secluded trails to run as I’m running so so slow as opposed to my 30’s, through early 60’s. I’m 75 now and hard runs now are a faster shuffle. Yes, it is embarrassing. I am happy that I’m still out here (three runs a week), but I do miss the days of running fast and seemingly effortlessly. Guess I’m in denial. Yes, I see others our age running decent times for their age, but I’m sure most started later in life and still have fresh legs. Thanks again for your great insight.
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Jim,
You’re just a kid! What do you have to complain about? Took you long enough to find my article, but I’m glad you did. Now let’s go for a “run”.
Sal
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